Habits, Success

Quit Being Your Own Worst Enemy


quit being your own worst enemyHow many times in your life have you heard someone say, “Quit being your own worst enemy?” While it’s definitely a cliche’ and one most people have a vague understanding of, the point is, so often in life, we get in our own way.

I’ve been both a business and life coach for many years now. At one point in my coaching life, I had 70 clients I worked with every week. That’s an hour plus per client. Needless to say, I have a profound love of helping people. Whether it’s been getting someone up to speed in their new business, taking a business to the next level, or simply working on personal goals and dreams, I’ve learned over time and in working with many people, common problems that rarely get addressed.

Some of these problems deal with time management, procrastination, improper mindset, damaging self-identity, destructive beliefs and the list goes on. I’m glad to say, I’ve had a great many triumphs in assisting people to ascend the ladder of success. But, sadly, some people will stop prematurely, or simply find themselves unable or unwilling to commit to the personal transformations that must happen to move to the next rung of the ladder.

I wasn’t always successful. In fact, I’ve been through cancer, bankruptcy, multiple failed businesses, and divorce. I can tell you definitively that if you want to move beyond your current life, to a life of more time, money, love, even health, you can not remain the same person you are right now.

The naysayers will tell you that what I’m talking about is “selling out,” but I’m not talking about becoming unethical or cheating the system. I’m simply saying that you will have to change beliefs, habits, self-confidence issues, attitudes, and you’ll have to reckon with your past. There are no shortcuts to this, and sometimes people are able to do it without confronting it directly. Like losing weight, where, as the pounds go away, they typically do so slowly….you don’t even notice until one day you just realize you’re thin again. Some people will actually deal with these issues in an unconscious, almost automatic adaptation to the demands of the new experiences that will come. All I’m really saying is quite being your own worst enemy.

If you’d like to make more rapid progress though, I’ve come to the conclusion that facing these things head on, will propel you forward far faster.

Imagine with me for a moment. Visualize your current life, just a single day will work. If you’re working a job or career, you probably wound up in that career initially because someone told you the key to success in life is to go to school, make good grades, then get a job. And, if you find yourself full of dread when you head to work each day, it’s because on some level, you realize, you’re probably making someone else a whole lot of money, while you’re trading your hours for dollars.

But the thought of going into business might be really scary for you. I’ll be the first to say, I don’t recommend jumping off the end of the pier. I didn’t. I worked a career in advertising for 20 years, and I started coaching while I was still working full time. I had far too many responsibilities to risk a make it or break it scenario. And if you do decide to take the plunge, even if you do it “on the side”, you may not feel your making the progress you’d like. One of the greatest challenges you’ll have making a transition from employee to business owner is, there’s no one telling you what to do. And often, that means you’ll get into some non-productive routines that don’t make you much money. Hey, quit being your own worst enemy, ok?

Or, you might be thinking about starting some kind of business, and you discuss the idea with your friends or family. You might even hear someone say, yeah, that doesn’t work. I tried it once. And, if your belief system is wired to accept that as truth, you may shy away. Never mind the fact that you may well fail, on your first attempt, but might succeed in your second, or even third. Hey, quit being your own worst enemy, ok?

Perhaps you’re wanting to meet a new romantic partner, but you’re freshly divorced and the dating scene has changed quite a lot since before you were married. (I can understand this better than most!) And so you’re not sure about the “rules of engagement” or maybe you’re just not that much of an extrovert and find it difficult to meet new people. These are beliefs, and identity issues. Hey, quit being your own worst enemy, ok?

So based on my experience, here’s the short list of focal points that can lift you up to a better personal experience: (Or How To Quit Being Your Own Worst Enemy)

Habits: Almost everyone has both good and bad habits. Learning how to identify them, assess them and change or replace them is vital. If you’d like to get started on that, you can grab my free Habits report here.

Beliefs: I’ve yet to meet a single person that isn’t operating on some beliefs that are hindering them. This is true even of the millionaires and the one billionaire I know. Beliefs can be sneaky, and subtle. If you’d like to discover how to uncover and dispel beliefs, I’ll have a report on this very soon.

Reframing: This topic is all about the baggage we carry around. If you’ve had traumatic experiences in your life, you likely have some deep seated fears that cause you to avoid things in life you may well need to confront to move beyond your current reality. If you’re ready for the quickest path to letting go of your past, and healing emotionally, grab this report.

Archetypes: Think about all of the stories you’ve read, and movies you’ve watched. Think of some of your favorite characters from these fictions. The Bible says,”there’s nothing new under the sun.” And Carl Jung pioneered work in the area of archetypes (though the first mentions go back to ancient greece) and how they control our behaviors. There are quite a few different archetypes, and yet, most of us are strong in some, and weak in others. Imagine if Indiana Jones was a “care-giver” rather than a hero, and imagine how he’d function taking on the Nazis. It’s not exactly the ideal role for Indie to play right? So, in life, if you’re operating under the influence of the wrong archetypal pattern, you may not be getting the results you expect. To learn how to harness the power of archetypes, grab this report.

Networks: Whether you’re looking for love, new business partners, friends, vendors, or customers, networking is a critical skill that can make your progress go exponential faster than perhaps anything else. Learning the skills of networking properly can open many doors. This is where you get the saying “it’s not what you know but who you know.” If you want to up your social currency, then grab this report on Networks.

Reinvention: Reinvention is the process of redefining who you are and what the rules of your life will be. As we enter new chapters in our lives, it’s often extremely empowering to fundamentally change ourselves at the core. Whenever I first think of this topic, I think of people like Tina Turner. (I’m old..haha) Tina was married to Ike Turner and they were musicians, pretty impressive musicians at that. But Ike was abusive and Tina suffered with it for quite some time. During the 1980’s, Tina reinvented herself. She took a huge leap back into the spotlight, independently…and she experienced enormous success. I remember how impressed I was with her success story. Tina is truly a powerful, independent and talented woman. If you’re ready to reboot your life altogether, then grab this report on Reinvention.

Engagement: Engagement is about attitude, energy, and action. Many people hold themselves back. They down-throttle who they really are inside. If you’ve ever experienced burnout, or felt apathetic, you know exactly what I’m saying. You could be having a life full of those “Kodak Moments” if you simply quit being your own worst enemy. It’s like many of us are going through the motions, as if it were a dress rehearsal. But we only get one life. So if you’re ready to fully engage, live with enthusiasm, and you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired, grab this report on Engagement.

So there you have it. Twelve years of coaching experience with clients from all walks of life, distilled down into the best methods to quit being your own worst enemy.