Success, Uncategorized

What You Need Is Not What You Think…

What You Need Is Not What You ThinkWhat you need is not what you think. This story is one I’ve so commonly heard as a coach, that I know just about all of the variations. Stick with me for just a bit, and I think you’ll find I understand far more than you’d ever suspect. The details might not be 100%, but the general message is sure to resonate.

You wanted to go out on the town tonight, but you’re broke, couldn’t get a babysitter, and you have a turn off notice on your electric bill. So instead you’re surfing the web. You see an ad for a Caribbean vacation and your mind drifts, for just a second, to a daydream about drinking margaritas with your man, basking in the glorious sunlight and smelling that fresh salt sea air.

You turn your attention to a social media post where some guy is talking about how many millions he made reselling stuff on Ebay. It sure would be nice to start a business and make millions, you think to yourself. Before you know it, you’re watching his video, and you see him rolling around town, talking to the camera in his brand new BMW. He drives by a beach, enters an upscale neighborhood and parks right in front of a mansion.

He tells you how much fun it is to only work 10 hours a week, and how good it feels to have lots of time for his family.

And you think to yourself, “God, I want to get rich so I can have those things too.”

As the video continues you notice this guy is cut. He could damn near be a fitness model, and by the time you see his wife, you’re thinking wow, I want to look like that.

And before you know it, you’re pulling out your credit card, plopping down a healthy $97 to buy his course.

You’re excited, and you can’t wait to start tearing into the information. You’re already counting the money you’ll make. Your mind jumps to the dream home you’re going to buy, the trips you’re going to take.

You right click the links on his download page, and you’re saving all these files to your desktop. After a minute or two, you’ve opened the first pdf file, and you’re reading.

The phone rings, and it won’t stop ringing. You swipe ignore, and a minute later it’s ringing again.

You sigh, answer the phone. It’s your husband and he’s having a minor crisis. He’s got a flat tire, and he needs you to drive out to town and pick him up. You call the neighbor’s daughter to watch the kids. So, you hop up, put on your shoes, grab your keys and go.

And that pdf sits open on your desktop.

When your husband gets in the car, he says he’s starving. So you stop to grab a bite at the drive through. By the time you get home, it’s getting a bit late, and you know morning comes early. So you head upstairs to get that precious sleep before another day in the office.

The next morning, you hit the snooze twice before you pull yourself up out of bed. The kids are already making noise, but wait, you only hear two. Someone isn’t up yet. You go to wake your straggler and get them bathed for school. The breakfast ritual happens, everyone out the door and you’re dropping the youngest at daycare.

Then you sit in that morning traffic, trying to find the one radio station that is actually playing music instead of talking about the Presidential race or the score of last night’s game.

Into the parking lot, damn, you had to park further out today. The traffic jam got you there later than you like.

Grab your laptop, hustle to the door. The boss already gave you the eye yesterday for being 5 minutes late.

And of course, the 12 priorities that all have deadlines of yesterday…another frantic day in your cubicle.

By the time you get out of work, grab the kids, make dinner and find a moment of sanity again, you discover your desktop computer has restarted itself from a Windows update.

6 minutes and 37 seconds before it’s ready to let you hit your web browser again, and oh, you’ve got to write your Mother on Facebook…

And you never open that pdf again for a week. You only do it then because you saw another ad that got you thinking about the “good life.” And even then, you only get 4 pages in when there’s another Mommy crisis.

And when you start thinking about how these successful people must just be lucky, or maybe they started out with a better situation than you, you get upset. You’re weary. You are so tired of this hyper-paced lifestyle, constantly taking care of everyone around you. God, you just want to have a real day of rest. If you’re really lucky, maybe a massage or a manicure.

I get it. I really do.

So, after 4 months, you finally manage just enough time to digest your infoproduct. And, you’ve got just enough desire to get started. You follow the steps, one by one. Oh, this one is impossible. You don’t know how to set up an optin page. What the heck is an optin page anyway?

Another week goes by. Finally, you luck out to find someone you know actually knows what an optin page is and helps you make one.

You finally get all the steps done, and you launch this thing out. Millionaire status here I come. And it fails miserably.

I get it. I sincerely do.

You Bought Hope

Despite all the infomercials. Regardless of all the cover stories. In spite of all the reality TV. Why in the hell can’t you get beyond the endless cycle of work, kids, husband, sleep, kids, husband, work?

Well, we’ve all heard the overnight success stories. They get a ton of air time. They make the front cover of all the magazines. It makes for great entertainment. It gets great ratings. You’ve seen all the stories. The incredible makeovers. The dramatic weight loss. The rags to riches.

But what you don’t hear anything about is the process that came before it. And more importantly, you never get the real context of who these people were psychologically. You just hear the success story.

And still you say, but, they sold me on a plan. They ripped me off! It doesn’t work.

But the fact is, it didn’t work for you.

Now I’m not saying there aren’t scam artists out there. There’s plenty of them.

But what I am saying is, you may well have a completely feasible system, but you don’t have everything you need to make that system work.

Where Is Your Head At?

You may lack the proper mindset. And, yes, I know, mindset is one of those conceptual words that people run on and on about. It’s more of that mumbo jumbo that people sell you on that amounts to squat.

But there’s more to it than that. Mindset is all about who you believe you are. Mindset is your collection of beliefs about yourself. And why that matters is, if you don’t believe yourself to be the kind of person who achieves the kind of goal you’re wanting to achieve, you won’t have the proper habits that make it possible.

To make it even more clear, the person you believe you are, determines the actions you’ll take.

Now we’re getting into things like consistency. Do you believe you’re a consistent person?  Do you regularly prove you ARE a consistent person by the actions you take?

This is all about engagement or focus. When you set out to work towards a goal, let’s say that internet business…
Can you be totally in the moment, thinking if even for just 5 minutes at a time, about nothing else but the next step of the process?

This is all about reframing, or dealing with beliefs you formed from things in your past. Do you find yourself hitting a snag and immediately thinking things like, I’ve never been good with computers. Are you thinking that because your 9th grade teacher told you how terrible you were at it in front of a room full of laughing classmates?

This is all about whether you have conflicting beliefs. Do you see yourself as the caregiver in your family, and feel guilty when you want to heroically pursue your business opportunity? Yeah, this is an archetype problem.

This is about networks. Do you surround yourself with people of similar ambition? Or do you have friends that tell you internet businesses can’t work. They’re all scams, and they know because they tried it once.

What You Need Is Not What You Think

But hey, if you’re nodding your head to any of these questions, it’s ok.

This doesn’t mean you can’t change it. It doesn’t mean you can’t build that internet empire. Nor does it mean you’ll never get fit. It also doesn’t mean you’ll never be wealthy. It certainly doesn’t mean the best years of your life are already behind you.

You can reinvent yourself. Simply take a little bit of time and totally rewrite the rules of your life.

It is possible for you to quite literally become a new and improved version of yourself.

It is so incredibly easy to allow yourself to want the end results so much that you take on too much at once.

Trust me, I’ve been there and done that.

It’s seriously simple to  get obsessed with results.

Human nature makes us all think we need overnight success.

We deal with fears about time running out. We feel the pressures of life.


  • If you address your beliefs and your habits…replacing what doesn’t serve you, adopting what will.
  • Let go of the past and heal it, so it’s not a lead anchor holding you back.
  • Get organized and focused on the daily tasks at hand.
  • Learn to shift gears in the many roles you play in life.
  • Seek out new friendships with people who are in alignment with your goals.

Then you are not only reinventing yourself, you’re taming the world.